Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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