Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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