Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
