**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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