I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i don't like sucking hair
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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