Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
