I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize