Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
