I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
