Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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