hotel room ftw
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
