apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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