Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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