I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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