just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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