After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
