covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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