I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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