Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
