Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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