I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize