wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
