its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
