somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
