I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
