Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
