Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
