Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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