I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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