Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
There's always time for handjobs
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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