The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
