He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
