I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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