I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
