Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
