Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
