u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
