don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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