like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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