10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
porn star boner night. come get it.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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