The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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