I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize