a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
