Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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