I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
