It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
