please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
