I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
