she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Randomize