normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
