I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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