weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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