whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She's the barista slut.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
