Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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