You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
