i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
