im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
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