I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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