found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize