can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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