I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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