when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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