i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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