When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
