I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
