In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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