The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
