What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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