this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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