Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
