once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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