This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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