My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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