Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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