it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize