He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
