He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
