If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
