She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
