Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
